Events: Fools Classic 2023

(2023) Take every perfect cycling road in northern Bucks County and link them with some of the most technical gravel sectors, one would have the route for the 2023 Fools Classic spring classic. The original Kermesse Sport event, the Fools Classic has been on the calendar for over a decade. This year Bucks County Brewery in Pipersville provided home base for the randonnee-styled ride. As luck would have it, the conditions were perfect.

Bucks County Brewery opened early to host Kermesse Sport’s Fools Classic participants.

As it stands, Bucks County Brewery is less than a kilometer from the creakbottombracket.com office. To have a Kermesse Sport event headquartered at the brewery demands our attendance. The Fools Classic, an event that has roots back to 2007, is one of the more challenging Kermesse events: there are technical gravel sectors, recurring steep hills, and relentless rolling terrain. Having checked in at the brewery, it was a roll out onto northern Bucks County roads with perfect weather. 

Though the Fools Classic is categorized as a gravel event, we have completed all of the older Kermesse rides on an asphalt bike, and today was no exception. Actually the day before, while working at the bike shop, mechanics loaded up the tired Schwalbe tires with Stan’s Race Sealant to virtually guarantee a smooth outcome. To have snapped on new tires was too much of a risk, so Stan’s was the lifeline. The road bike went out on the course armed with knackered Schwalbe One TLE 25mm tubeless tires. At least we didn’t have to swap parts for a gravel bike prior to the event.

The curiously named Rope Walk Road was one of the several lime-based roads. Here is where a senior beagle camped out in the middle of the road as we caught another participant on the day.

Using ridewithgps.com’s navigation, the route wiggled north, west, and sometimes even east for the opening dozen miles. With vibrant sun and the bluest skies, the first gravel sectors were hit at the seven-mile mark. Randts Mill Road’s easy downhill gravel gave false security into Oak Grove Road’s rolling terrain. It was the first test for participants who had to weigh risk versus reward when navigating gravel hollows.

In Bucks County spirit, there were certainly hollows. Roads like Dark Hollow (twice), Hollow Horn, and Coon Hollow reinforced the notion that, despite Bucks County only being one hour from Philadelphia and New York City, rural and gravel roads were still remote. Coon Hollow provided the northernmost portion of the Fools Classic route with little room to spare. Northampton County lies about a mile north of this gravel gem.

No winter maintenance and a truck warning sign greets riders entering Berger Road, a gravel sector in Nockamixon that has forced me to walk in other years.

Though dust had built up on the bike from the gravel sectors, the Fools Classic is quietly known for its challenging punchy climbs. The unpaved Quarry Road near Ottsville showcases a loose gravel bridge crossing that required an unclipping due to doubt as to whether the throughway could be navigated. There was Tettemer Road, another unpaved climb where a walker claimed my road steed was the correct equipment choice. On the gravel climbs, seated cadence was the only option. There was Berger Road, a steep gravel climb that unhitched me multiple times in the past. There is no way to approach the climb with speed and often the gravel is deep. Today, however, the conditions perfected a grinding seated climb where I gained ground on another participant. Narrows Hill Road was a prepped-for ascent that showcased one rider weaving back and forth the difficult hill. At this point I had felt positively optimistic about the climbs. The route would shoot due south via the Canal Path and one climb was all that remained. 

And yet, ice coursed through my veins when a good samaritan who split a gallon jug of water and added a nitro coffee at Homestead General Store, stated “Well. Lodi Hill is next.” I had quite forgotten that godforsaken climb. It was most certainly next from the coffee stop. The possibility of navigating more climbs, much less gravel climbs featuring two switchbacks were suddenly a cause for concern. While rolling down the Canal Path, other climbs reentered my mind. Stagecoach, Mount Airy, State Park Road, awfulness. All the while, Bucks County Brewery was just a few miles to the west, and could be accessed at any given time. But those chopping climbs were approached, one by one, and summited with care. Each steep gravel climb had just enough moisture in the loose surface to grant purchase onto the flappy road tires. The route continued onward.

Coon Hollow Road was one of the most technical, yet peaceful, gravel roads on the Fools Classic route, even if the sign gave other ideas.

Eventually, after covering over seventy miles and untold gravel sectors, I rolled back into the Kermesse command center in the glowing afternoon sun outside Bucks County Brewery. Having swapped the bike for a beer ticket, I made my way inside, into the coolness, and listened to the conversations. A group of participants had just finished, announcing they were from Orange County, NY. They recounted their experiences and praised the weather for providing the best conditions possible. Meanwhile more finishers rolled in, smiles and thankfulness carried across faces. The ride was over but the stories were only just starting. Some were not aware just how demanding the day out would be. 

Throughout the dozens of miles, both paved and unpaved, one thought kept coming back to me. It was the enjoyment of navigating a beautiful landscape which hosted challenging climbs and conditions. There were several gravel passages where I thought it would be classified as technical. Meanwhile the road portions featured remarkable experiences such as waterfalls, ancient structures, and even wildflowers leaning into the course like spectators at a bike race. These are the roads and climbs local group rides feature as turn-around spots. “We’ll ride out to Lodi Hill and back,” they might say. Meanwhile the Fools Classic route by Kermesse Sport packs all these experiences into a single route and sends riders home with a simple message - if you want to experience northern Bucks County in a single bike ride, the Fools Classic is it.