Events: The Total Fools is 2019’s Big Show

All photos are courtesy of Mike Maney Photography. Be sure to check out his work; he is a fellow cyclist in the Bucks County cycling community with multiple KOMs to his name.

(2019) Smart Cars, electric cars becoming popular, and tiny houses were the byproduct of the economic downturn from a decade ago. Smart Cars, those little Jetson-like vehicles were the result of people wanting nothing more than a seat on top of an engine. With gas prices being as high as they were, electric cars managed to get a piece of the market share. Tiny houses, well, they were houses similar in expectations to Smart Cars. 

While companies and designers were slimming down their products, one notable company went bigger. Smaller cars meant a compromise somewhere, either in price or performance. Meanwhile, Subaru was continuing its industry leading approach of making durable cars. Except when everyone was slimming down their cars’ sizes or amenities, Subaru made their cars bigger. It felt as each industry insider said this would bury the car company; Subaru kept marching up the sales charts while having more headspace and cargo area. 

The cycling world, too, experienced a similar effect. While the economy was struggling along, bikes were rolling off the racks and floors at a faster rate. Bikes being purchased were higher end bikes, not economical alternatives to cars. That is, no one sold their car on Sunday and bought a bike on Monday during the economic downturn. More people found interest riding than in recent memory. Having a Subaru with a bike rack on it was a special club.

The Total Fools and Fools Classic routes encompass the Bucks County experience: gravel roads, covered bridges, fallow farm fields, and punchy climbs.

 When the 2019 headlines for the Fool’s Classic was released by Kermesse Sport, there was the similar Subaru feeling when the May 25th ride based in Point Pleasant, PA, would offer an imperial century. One hundred miles of riding was the new finish line for the long course, adding to an already challenging and scenic 73-mile course. Take it from many of the Hell of Hunterdon regulars who say the New Jersey ride is nice, but Fool’s Classic is the real ‘day out’ of cycling. Bigger here is certainly better.

To register and ride the Total Fools is a total Bucks County cycling experience. It is now the longest ride offered by Kermesse Sport by almost twenty miles. It has more climbing than any ride by more than one thousand feet. It also has more gravel sectors than the Hell of Hunterdon by almost double. It features numerous covered bridges, not featured on the Jersey side. And while the farthest point from ride headquarters is at mile marker sixty, riders are never really farther than twenty miles as the crow flies. 

For one reason or another we have missed the Fools Classic often, despite this being the ride’s twelfth year (one year it was canceled to make room for a rescheduled Hell of Hunterdon). This year the ride is the Saturday of Memorial Day Weekend. Since we have retired from racing, Tour of Somerville does not interfere with the Total Fools. The Indianapolis 500 is on Sunday, so the plan is to bury us on the dusty farm roads of Bucks County the day before and do our best Jabba the Hutt on the couch on Sunday. 

If there was a must-do cycling event in Bucks County this season, the Total Fools is definitely it. With a start time at 7am, there will be plenty of time to work through the day’s remote wooded sectors and loop it back to the quaint coffee stops along the route. We have to do it this year because the route passes very close to the creakybottombracket.com office. When an event cuts that close to the office with this much going for it, there is no excuse why we would miss the 2019 Total Fools presented by Kermesse Sport. There is no excuse for you to miss it either. Did we mention the entry price is nearly half that of the Hell of Hunterdon for a one-hundred-mile day out? Consider yourself in training mode. We will see you there.